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Despite the quagmire state of the nation, the Nigerian Communications Commission (NCC), has chosen to add to our problems by mandating local service providers to increase their data rates for irrelevant reasons, starting from the 1st of December.
Without deceiving ourselves, this directive from NCC will be unfavorable to subscribers as many may denied frequent internet access. Without wasting time, the following people may no longer have access to the internet when data rates increases.
1. Broke guys
Recession has turned many financially buoyant guys to become broke that they can’t even boast of two square meal let alone subscribe for a full month data plan. Many will agree with me that NCC will only be compounding these people’s problems because they will have to borrow phones from their enemies just to check their Bet9ja tickets.
2. Whatsapp subscribers
The whatsapp subscribers are so economical that they can manage 10MB for a whole year without getting exhausted. By the time 20MB monthly whatsapp plan is reduced to 2MB per month, these people will only switch on their data once in every 23 hours just reply the pending whatsapp messages
3. Facebook subscribers
Once data rates increases, monitoring spirits on facebook will drastically reduce as guy will not be able to ass-lick ladies on social media. In fact, they will only view ladies profile pictures on Facebook and will not be able to comment since they will be managing their weekly data plans which might be reduced to from 25MB to 10MB
4. Stingy/Greedy people
These are the people that have money yet stingy to themselves. Even if they’re being offered 50GB for N1, 000, they will still wail and complain that they deserve more. These people are likely to use their money to gulp beer and devour nkwobi when data rate is Increased as they see it as waste of money.
5. Night crawlers
These are the people that can’t browse during the daytime but will have to wait till 12am so that they can subscribe for N25 night browsing just to dowload from naijauncut and xvideos. I believe it’s cruelty if service providers increase data rates and cease night browsing plans because these people will no longer have any hope of surfing the net even at midnight
6. Cheap phones users.
Some people are using cheap phones that can’t even subscribe Airtel 3GB monthly plan. When data rates is increased, they may choose not to subscribe again their monthly data plan can even buy their phones.
7. Those who relay on people for data sharing
Those who rely on people to share data with them will be put to shame because, increase in data rates will make those who share data with them to become stingy. These people will become wailers and will begin to rain curses on Buhari and NCC
8. Ladies who rely on men for subscription
I know that thing will soon go worse that most guys will not be able to subscribe for themselves let one subscribe for ladies. Therefore, ladies will be willing to trade their virginity for data subscription so that they can have access to Facebook and whatsapp. The ones who can’t do this will be stranded as life will become boring to them.
9. Data resell scammers
Those who spam social media with ridiculously cheap data plans may not be able to even subscribe let alone spam websites in a bid to scam people.
10. Thugs/Derailers
I have already predicted that increase in data rates will bring about peace on social media as hooligans, bashers and derailers will not be able to subscribe let alone bash people on social media. This implies that only the rich will be found on social media.
Which other type again… Abeg, make una remind me.
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