Gifts from parents to their children most of the times come as a surprise. In fact, the surprise element makes it very thrilling for both parents and the children. Inasmuch as they are free to do this, Saturday Punch asked Nigerians whether they can still go ahead and buy a car gift for their daughter who is already married without informing her husband first
She is still their child - Nelson Olaiya
The in-law does not need the permission of the husband to give their child a car gift because she is still their child and parental love doesn’t end because of marriage. So they don’t need permission, but a wife is answerable to her husband before her parents. So in that aspect the wife’s parents don’t answer to the husband since it’s a gift. But if they were to send her on an errand to somewhere far, they should take permission but not in terms of gift.
My parents no longer have authority over me - Adeyinka Adedugbe
Yes, the in-laws need the permission of the husband to give their child a car gift because once a child is married, the parents no longer have any authority over her. The husband is the head, so anything you are doing for the family, you have to take permission from the head just for peace to reign. Most men are jealous especially if the man doesn’t have a car or the one he has is not as good as the gift his wife got. If they decide to give their child a car gift without the husband knowing, this may break the home. My parents need my husband’s permission to buy me a car as a gift.
What is hers is mine and vice versa - Popoola Daniel
No, I do not think a parent needs the permission of the husband. I believe gift should be a free will from the in-law which the second party doesn’t need to have a clear picture before it is finally unveiled. If the content of the gift is known before presentation, it is no longer a gift, therefore gift should be a surprise. I would not take any offence if my wife’s parents give her a car as gift because what is hers is mine and vice versa.
It could be handed over to the husband - Gbemisola Okanlawon
Well, their child is married, so she is now a wife and runs her own family. The in-laws can talk about the gift with the husband since the husband is the head of the house so as to prevent the husband from feeling disrespected. The other way is giving the car to the couple and handing it over to the husband, not only the child. It is not mandatory but it is necessary.
Husband that finds fault in that is an enemy of progress - Akomolafe Oluwashola
It is supposed to be a surprise gift, why should he be told? If my wife’s parents were to surprise her and they told me, somehow I will tell my wife because we interact a lot and I would not know when I spill the beans. I do not see any big deal in my in-laws buying my wife a car because we will drive it together. But there would be a problem if she starts misbehaving because of the car like coming back late with the excuse that she is safe because she has a car. I am not against an in-law buying their child a car. The husband that would see fault in that should be an enemy of progress.
It is a form of respect - Aleje Damilola
I think the in-laws, as a form of respect, should seek permission from the husband before buying their child a car as gift. I believe for whatever reason they are buying her a car, they need to tell the husband just to respect him. Although it is not compulsory that he be told but as Africans, it’s a sign that they respect him as the head of the house and she is his property. I do not see anything wrong in my parents asking my husband before they buy me a car though.
We are one already - Yinka Daniel
So far the child has not denied her parents and they are still in good relationship, they still have the right to take care of their child, including buying her gifts without the permission of the husband or anybody whatsoever. And since both of us are joined together, I consider it that we are all one family. Asking for my permission would not change anything as we are all one.
Seeking my attention is nothing but a sign of respect anyway.
It’s advisable that he is informed - Ada Agbo
For the marriage to be on the safe side, I believe it is advisable that the husband be at least informed so he does not feel inferior in the house, especially if he does not have a car. If it is supposed to be a surprise, he should be told regardless of the fact that he is their son-in-law. Men these days are jealous and little things get to them. If my parents were to get me a car, I would really appreciate if they tell my husband. Some men may even think it’s a plan between his wife, her parents and a concubine.
Yes, they need husband’s permission - Samuel Idehen
Yes, the in-laws need to seek the permission of their child’s husband before they can give her a car as gift. She is still their daughter but they have to consider that she is married and has her own family now. He should be informed before they take such actions because marriage relationship supersedes that of parental relationship. It’s also a sign of respect; telling him accords necessary respect because in a legal sense, their daughter is more of his property than theirs.
It’s not necessary - Immaculate George
I do not think it is necessary for my parents to ask my husband for permission before buying me a car as gift. In fact, he should be happy for me because he is a part of my life; what is mine is his and what is his is also mine. Yes, a husband is the head of the home and no decision whatsoever should be taken without his consent but not in this case because, the car is from my parents and not someone else. I do not see a need for parents to ask a husband for permission before giving their daughter a car as gift.
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