1. She’s quicker without you. On
average, women take longer to orga$m than men do. “For a woman’s nerve
endings to be stimulated and for the blood flow to get down into her
genitals, it can take up to 15 or 20 minutes of foreplay,”
But she
might be a lot faster going solo than she is with you in the sack. That
could be because she’s more focused on her own pleasure (instead of
yours) or because she knows exactly what she wants. “Many women can be
there in 2 to 3 minutes on their own, but will take 10 or more—or can’t
get there at all—with a partner,”
2. She doesn’t do it quite as often. When
you wake up with morning wood, there’s a decent chance you’ll give
yourself a tug before the day is over. According to research, 25 percent
of men mast'urbate at least 3 times per week, and 55 do it at least
once a month. But for women, those stats are considerably lower: Only 10
percent of ladies report pleasuring themselves three times per week,
and 38 percent go down below once a month.
How come? She might see
self-pleasure as more of a production, not just a quick rub-and-go
activity. It could also be because of the stigma associated with female
mas'turbation, which can follow many women into adulthood. “Most boys
begin before they’re 10,” says Jansen, while “women start later, often
in their 20s.”
3. She preps differently.

“Men
can be in a dirty gas station bathroom and rub one out,” says Allison,
but for the fairer se'x, environment is everything. Maybe she pulls out a
special lubricant, lights a few candles, or draws a bath before
starting self-pleasure. “A lot of women need their heads to be there,
and if there are any distractions whatsoever, that can throw them off,”
she says.
4. Her touch is softer. When you
mas'turbate, you’ve got a firm grip, your fingers are clenched, and you
stick to a rough, up-and-down motion. Women, on the other hand, tend to
be slower, gentler, and more subtle.
“Think about if you had an
eyelash in your eye and you were trying to rub it out,” says Allison.
“You’d pull your eyelid back and gently use your fingertip to rub
around. That’s how soft you should touch a woman’s clit'oris. Yes, that
soft.”
The cli'toris has twice as many nerve endings as the head of
the pe'nis, so it’s super-sensitive to even the softest touch. Some
women like it rougher—and they’ll tell you if they do—but most need to
be eased in gently before they can stand too much contact with their
cli'toris.
5. She explores her whole body.While
you pretty much have just one tool at your disposal, she likes to make
mas'turbation a full-body activity. “Women tend to stimulate the whole
body more—the neck, bre'asts, arms, and labia,” explains Jansen. She
might massage her ni'pples or inner thighs first before settling on her
genitals. Comparatively, “men are generally okay with the beginning,
middle, and end focus on the pe'nis,” Jansen says.
6. She doesn’t always care about orga'sm… This
might be the biggest difference of them all. When you mas'turbate, you
probably have a clear goal in mind: bust a nut or bust. “But for a lot
of women, whether you get there or not isn’t the key,” says Allison.
Some women are satisfied with their self-pleasure well before orga'sm
occurs, or regardless of whether there’s a climax. “It’s more about
taking time for yourself and giving to yourself in a pleasurable way,”
she says.
7. …But when she does, she’s going for seconds.When
you ejac'ulate, it creates a huge physical release. “It takes a lot of
energy for the body to actually push all of that fluid from the
prostate, through the spiral tubing, then through the testicles, up and
out of the pe'nis,” explains Allison. “That’s why when [men] are finally
done, it’s over. They’re like, ‘Whew, I need a nap.’”
Women’s
orga'sms are physical, too, but they don’t have the same “refractory
period” after climaxing, which makes it more likely for them to go for
multiple rounds. So while some women aren’t necessarily vying for
org'asm at all, others don’t stop at just one. Lucky ladies.