A 25-stone comedienne is spilling steamy secrets about her former life as a dominatrix – revealing how she could earn several hundreds of pounds by sitting on men while eating pizza.
According to the report revealed by Dailymail, Miranda Kane, 36, of Finchley, London, worked as a big beautiful woman (BBW) escort in London for seven years. Using the name Melody, she would charge up to £2,000 for a night in a rented flat, also in London, where she'd make the fantasies of men aged 18 to 80 come true. Some of their kinks included being spanked with wooden spoons, or popping balloons with different body parts.
'The things you can do with inanimate objects baffles me,' said Miranda, who is originally from Dorset. 'A lot of the time I think, 'How do you find this a turn on?'
Miranda revealed she went into the business at the age of 23, after her dream career in stand-up comedy failed to materialise. Before this, she had quit her miserable job in telesales and started working part-time in Ann Summers, the saucy underwear and s*x toys shop. She was also going on dates with men she met through Yahoo! chatrooms and OkCupid online dating site.
At first, she said she was surprised by the amount of male attention she received, as she was used to being overlooked because of her size.
'I was the biggest girl in my village, and people always said I had a nice face or lovely personality,' she recalled. 'But suddenly there were guys who liked me because of my body.'
Many of the men Miranda met up with were simply after no strings attached s*x. Feeling used when they failed to ask her out on a proper dinner date, she began to wonder if she could charge them for the pleasure of her company.
'At least then they'd be upfront about their intentions,' she said. After trawling the internet for a BBW escorts website, she uploaded her picture and phone number to one.
She assumed nothing would come of it but, within half an hour, she had been contacted by a man staying in a posh hotel on Park Lane.
'S*x work gave me confidence in what I looked like and gave me something to say. 'I signed up for a six-week course and entered the Camden Fringe.'
Since then, Miranda hasn't looked back. Now, she shocks and delights audiences with her wacky tales of her former life.
The show, billed 'The Coin Operated Girl,' has toured Edinburgh festival four times.
She is also releasing an audio sitcom called 'Slaving Away'- a fictionalised comedy of her experiences, which she was inspired to write after becoming frustrated at unrealistic portrayals of s*x workers in mainstream media.
She said: 'Se.x workers are always shown as people addicted to drugs, people who are being trafficked or as being like Billie Piper's part in the TV show adaptation of Belle Du Jour.
'She never had any friends, was chasing after one guy and lived in a mansion block on the South Bank.
'There was no scene of her getting drunk with her friends at a Wetherspoon's on a Friday night – which is what my life was like.'
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